Let’s talk about money.
Amazing how one word can evoke so many different responses from within us, isn’t it?…
It has fascinated me, eluded me, tempted me, supported me… and also triggered the living daylights out of me while I unknowingly projected all my judgments about it and those who have or don’t have it, including myself, onto it.
Over the years, I have invested thousands of dollars in programs and trainings to understand what often made no sense to me. And having been one to want to figure things out and loving a good old challenge and mystery to be solved… I didn’t give up very easily.
I looked at the spiritual side of it, the emotional, mental, practical and whatever other sides there were to be explored… An obvious one was that money wasn’t spiritual so therefore wanting anything material at all would make me materialistic and soooo not spiritual! Not to mention the vows of poverty and all of that.
I uncovered many, many inner programs running in the background, running my life and setting me up to keep this mystery unsolved to a large extent.
I studied the Law of Attraction long before it was known as that, attended workshops all over the world from the time I was 18 and even started teaching others how to upgrade their inner programming and shift their reality from the inside out. Resulting in life transforming experiences, including huge money breakthroughs.
I manifested plenty of amazing things over the years and some would take an hour, others a few days and some a few years. From flying around the world first class ( and this was not during my flying career), to money showing up in the most unusual ways, to parking spaces in busy streets, and all kinds of things in between.
And it wasn’t until the other day that a series of insights made me see how I had been withholding from what I would call the ‘BIG’ things showing up as fast as the parking spaces or green traffic lights, for example.
It was a combination of those things that had been ‘hiding’ in plain sight. Have you ever noticed how that is the best way to hide anything?…
Probably REALLY obvious to those around me and yet, no matter how often they may have told me, the penny didn’t drop, literally!
The underlying mother program of them all was based on…
judgments. Not only those I was holding onto about money and what I made the presence or absence of money in my life mean about me… but literally what judgments meant to me.
Have you ever experienced how sometimes hearing a word described in many different ways can suddenly result in one of those light bulb moments? I have been very blessed to attend a lot of Mary Nalini MacNab’s ( from www.delphicwave.com) programs and having private sessions with her over the years. In the Embodying Fluidity program she talks about surrendering all fixed positions and how holding on to these takes tremendous amounts of energy.
Well, fixed positions include points of view, beliefs, opinions, ways you justify or defend anything in your experience, basically anything which keeps you experiencing lack and separation… and keeps you from embodying Oneness.
So it suddenly clicked into place when I saw that these were all forms of judgment in some shape or another and especially the justifying or defending part.
Which was tied in with the other mother program… that of being addicted to challenges and solving problems!
Which is driven by the control freak aspect which will have you believe you have to DO something, seeking the illusion of being in charge, keeping you trying to figure it out ( this is a BIG red flag to know your controller is active) and will have you trapped in the hamster wheel, complying with the rules and regulations of society so as to be accepted and to fit in, chasing your dreams and never quite living them fully because many of them weren’t originally yours anyway so could never make your heart sing…
and on and on it goes…
And to then pretend to yourself and the world that you’re not judgmental and that you accept what is, while certain people or circumstances can get a charged reaction from you within a milli-second
As long as there is anything triggering you, you’re pushing against it, not wanting to embody it as YOU.
So to the degree that you hold a charge about money or any institutions which represent money to you, you block yourself from receiving this aspect of you and that can reflect in money or lack thereof.
A quick way to check how this might affect you? Well, what comes up for you around the Vatican, for example? I once heard that the Vatican bank is one of the most abundant banks in the world, if not THE most.
Or how about CEO’s of companies receiving huge bonus lump sum payments while the company is going under and employees are losing their jobs or have to take pay cuts?
How about family inheritances? Or coming into money and keeping it quiet from others?
You might be open to receiving and yet find yourself having to get rid of it as soon as possible. This explains why many lottery winners have spent all their millions within two years and often find themselves even worse off than before.
It has nothing to do with money.
It has everything to do with how you feel about it, what you make it mean.
These inner programs can be so intertwined that they spin your mind, tripping you into overwhelm and confusion so that you back off and leave them alone. Hence keeping the story going… and wondering why nothing you DO seems to work.
Now… isn’t there a short cut? Yes, there is.
Love. Love yourself… love your life… love all aspects of you in the many forms they show up and are reflected to you through ‘others’, including money.
As A Course in Miracles so beautifully says: “Love holds no grievances”.
So are you willing to let go of being right? Letting go of justifying why you defend your points of view, opinions, all those fixed positions? Whatever that brings up may well be your way of denying the powerful co-creator you truly are, able to write a new story about money which supports you as you embody abundance in all its forms, including money, as expressions of Oneness…
Will you join me?
Copyright © 2012 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.