Writing and Embodying a New Money Story

15. May 2012 · Write a comment · Categories: energy clearing · Tags: , , , , , ,

Let’s talk about money.

Amazing how one word can evoke so many different responses from within us, isn’t it?…
It has fascinated me, eluded me, tempted me, supported me… and also triggered the living daylights out of me while I unknowingly projected all my judgments about it and those who have or don’t have it, including myself, onto it.

Over the years, I have invested thousands of dollars in programs and trainings to understand what often made no sense to me. And having been one to want to figure things out and loving a good old challenge and mystery to be solved… I didn’t give up very easily.

I looked at the spiritual side of it, the emotional, mental, practical and whatever other sides there were to be explored… An obvious one was that money wasn’t spiritual so therefore wanting anything material at all would make me materialistic and soooo not spiritual! Not to mention the vows of poverty and all of that.
I uncovered many, many inner programs running in the background, running my life and setting me up to keep this mystery unsolved to a large extent.

I studied the Law of Attraction long before it was known as that, attended workshops all over the world from the time I was 18 and even started teaching others how to upgrade their inner programming and shift their reality from the inside out. Resulting in life transforming experiences, including huge money breakthroughs.

I manifested plenty of amazing things over the years and some would take an hour, others a few days and some a few years. From flying around the world first class ( and this was not during my flying career), to money showing up in the most unusual ways, to parking spaces in busy streets, and all kinds of things in between.

And it wasn’t until the other day that a series of insights made me see how I had been withholding from what I would call the ‘BIG’ things showing up as fast as the parking spaces or green traffic lights, for example.

It was a combination of those things that had been ‘hiding’ in plain sight. Have you ever noticed how that is the best way to hide anything?…

Probably REALLY obvious to those around me and yet, no matter how often they may have told me, the penny didn’t drop, literally!

The underlying mother program of them all was based on…

judgments. Not only those I was holding onto about money and what I made the presence or absence of money in my life mean about me… but literally what judgments meant to me.

Have you ever experienced how sometimes hearing a word described in many different ways can suddenly result in one of those light bulb moments? I have been very blessed to attend a lot of Mary Nalini MacNab’s ( from www.delphicwave.com)  programs and having private sessions with her over the years. In the Embodying Fluidity program she talks about surrendering all fixed positions and how holding on to these takes tremendous amounts of energy.

Well, fixed positions include points of view, beliefs, opinions, ways you justify or defend anything in your experience, basically anything which keeps you experiencing lack and separation… and keeps you from embodying Oneness.
So it suddenly clicked into place when I saw that these were all forms of judgment in some shape or another and especially the justifying or defending part.

Which was tied in with the other mother program… that of being addicted to challenges and solving problems!

Which is driven by the control freak aspect which will have you believe you have to DO something, seeking the illusion of being in charge, keeping you trying to figure it out ( this is a BIG red flag to know your controller is active) and will have you trapped in the hamster wheel, complying with the rules and regulations of society so as to be accepted and to fit in, chasing your dreams and never quite living them fully because many of them weren’t originally yours anyway so could never make your heart sing…

and on and on it goes…

And to then pretend to yourself and the world that you’re not judgmental and that you accept what is, while certain people or circumstances can get a charged reaction from you within a milli-second ;)

As long as there is anything triggering you, you’re pushing against it, not wanting to embody it as YOU.
So to the degree that you hold a charge about money or any institutions which represent money to you, you block yourself from receiving this aspect of you and that can reflect in money or lack thereof.

A quick way to check how this might affect you? Well, what comes up for you around the Vatican, for example? I once heard that the Vatican bank is one of the most abundant banks in the world, if not THE most.
Or how about CEO’s of companies receiving huge bonus lump sum payments while the company is going under and employees are losing their jobs or have to take pay cuts?
How about family inheritances? Or coming into money and keeping it quiet from others?

You might be open to receiving and yet find yourself having to get rid of it as soon as possible. This explains why many lottery winners have spent all their millions within two years and often find themselves even worse off than before.

It has nothing to do with money.

It has everything to do with how you feel about it, what you make it mean.
These inner programs can be so intertwined that they spin your mind, tripping you into overwhelm and confusion so that you back off and leave them alone. Hence keeping the story going… and wondering why nothing you DO seems to work.

Now… isn’t there a short cut? Yes, there is.

Love. Love yourself… love your life… love all aspects of you in the many forms they show up and are reflected to you through ‘others’, including money.

As A Course in Miracles so beautifully says: “Love holds no grievances”.
So are you willing to let go of being right? Letting go of justifying why you defend your points of view, opinions, all those fixed positions? Whatever that brings up may well be your way of denying the powerful co-creator you truly are, able to write a new story about money which supports you as you embody abundance in all its forms, including money, as expressions of Oneness…

Will you join me?

Joyful blessings,

Tina
www.innerdelight.com

Copyright © 2012 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.

 

Blah or Bliss?

07. March 2012 · Write a comment · Categories: clearing fear, energy clearing · Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Feeling worn out?

If you ever feel like the cat in this picture, then you are not alone!
With the way the energies are being activated at the moment, our physical bodies can really do with some extra nurturing… and that may just call for sleeping at odd times… having massages and especially taking time out to be in nature. And… getting your inner software and operating system upgraded!

Blah before Bliss…

With many on the spiritual path there can be a tendency to overlook the physical, being so well trained in transformation on other levels
that the physical body is not always cherished or supported. The slower and denser vibrations of the material/physical realms can feel like moving through molasses at times… feeling blah… So what do you do when you feel this way?…

‘If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.’ Joseph Campbell

I love the above Joseph Campbell quote. It is an invitation to let go of what’s been holding you back, settling for less than you know deep inside of yourself is possible for you… It also invites you to listen to your heart and allow your fears to be transformed.
Whenever you accept this invitation, be aware that it may very well bring up all the blah that has been holding back the bliss!

Reason for Celebration!

 So if you’re feeling BLAH, then it may well be time to celebrate! The gunk which has been in your body, emotions, thoughts, life… it is being purged, so to speak, to make room for the intention you declared: BLISS.

To support you in making this transition elegant, smooth and gentle there is a lot you can do.
For starters, you can give yourself permission to simply BE…
Yes, no shoulds, musts, have-to’s…. listening to what you need in each moment, what your body needs and then honoring that.

Taking time to process any outdated beliefs, upgrading your inner programming and definitely balancing that with walks in nature, baths or showers, massages… nurture, nurture, nurture…

Being aware of what is triggered in you when you choose to put yourself first.
Just as they say on the airplane: Put on your own oxygen mask first, before helping others.
You may have heard this and said this a gazzillion times… the question is: are you LIVING it? In other words, have you embodied this message?

Making yourself a priority usually brings up a tonne of beliefs, thoughts, feelings…
Do whatever you need to do to get these upgraded to 2012 version.

Send it all to the cosmic laundry service;) Yourself included!

The polarity work and squares as taught by Leslie Temple-Thurston from www.corelight.org is phenomenal for this. If you have not yet read her book ‘The Marriage of Spirit’, then I strongly encourage you to get your hands on a copy and start working with it.
When you do this kind of clearing work it stops the need to have these things show up in your life again and again, to be brought into balance! That ought to be enough of an incentive;)

Use your energy alignment tools, whatever works for you.
I love using TAT ( Tapas Acupressure Technique) for this and on my website you can find some videos of me guiding you through a session of letting your heart guide you through crisis. click here

Take a look at the many wonderful offerings by Mary Nalini MacNab from www.delphicwave.com which I personally apply daily and LOVE.

Most of all, LISTEN to your SELF!
Allow yourself to receive the wisdom of your Soul and then be willing to act on it…

Before you know it, your physical body will be aligned and thriving with these new higher frequencies and you will be sharing your bliss stories through living them;)

Time to love yourself with wild abandon!

If this resonates with you, I would love to hear about your experiences so please share. And if you think others might benefit from this, then please pass it on, tweet about it, post it on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

Many thanks and joyful blessings,

Tina
www.innerdelight.com

Copyright © 2012 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.

My Camino Experience

30. March 2011 · 2 comments · Categories: energy clearing, Uncategorized · Tags: , , , , , , , ,

It has been said that when St James calls you that you start walking to Santiago de Compostela… He must have been whispering to me for a while and turned up the volume the end of February;)

I first read about the Camino in Shirley MacLaine’s book about her experience many years ago. It seemed like a wonderful thing to do…one day.
That day arrived rather unexpectedly.

Mid February my friend Deborah asked me if I wanted to go walking with her for a few weeks. She had walked the Camino from St Jean Pied de Port to Santiago de Compostela in 2009 and was starting to feel the calling to walk again.

The thought of being out in nature for several weeks and just walking was appealing to me so when she asked me again I said YES.
I had no idea what it would call for really… the only other times I have gone walking with a backpack was in South Africa but that was only for 4 and 5 days.
This was going to be 16 days…

Initially she had thought of going to Cathar country in France. Just as we were getting ready to book a ticket to get there the plans changed. We were at a book presentation about the Camino and both feeling excited about going walking the following week, even if it wasn’t to Santiago.
That evening I received a text message from her that the plans had changed… Her father had mentioned that it might still be rather cold in the Pyrenees so why didn’t we go on the Porto route to Santiago?…

Tina before Camino

I started to feel a fluttering in my belly and the excitement about going somewhere new was delicious.
I didn’t have a backpack so I was able to borrow one from my friend’s mum. I just had to get new shoes since my old ones had fallen apart last year in France.

So over the next 6 days I took my new shoes for a walk on the beach once and figured I would be fine.
They felt super comfortable. Just in case, I did stock up on some of those fabulous Compeed plasters for blisters.
Besides the basics for clothing, I took a cozy fleece blanket and several of my essential oils, Aura Soma bottles and muscle gel for nurturing myself.

rest time

This called for many laughs along the way as we stopped somewhere and out came the oils as I massaged my feet and put my legs in the air to recharge or just stopped somewhere to lean back:)

Trust me, having those oils with me when arriving in a hostel was a delight to our senses, especially when there were more pilgrims and their shoes were breathing…

We flew out to Porto in Portugal on Monday March 7th, the starting point of our Camino.
During the days prior to leaving I received many messages from others to take with me on my walk. When I told Mary Nalini McNab about going to Santiago she offered me a few questions to take with me. I had said that I felt as if I was going on a walk with grace, like a walking meditation to update my inner software.

The questions were: What is the grace here? How do I hold onto grace? What is here that I can let go of? How can I put this directly in the Divine’s hands to be let go of?

These questions accompanied me during my walk and really helped to remind me to surrender whatever came up to the Divine, to be optimized. This sometimes had me laughing while tears were streaming down my face…

When we arrived in Porto the first opportunity to start asking these questions appeared! Waiting for our backpacks to arrive…
you guessed it… no luggage. The connection time in Madrid had been very tight so everyone from there was gathering in the baggage office.
We didn’t know yet where we would be staying that evening so had to ask if they could phone us when the bags had arrived.
The next and last flight was coming in at 730pm and I asked the angels to ensure our bags were on that flight so we could start walking the next morning, otherwise we would have to wait until noon.

Porto Cathedral

Well… the grace in this was that we were now able to go into Porto without luggage and make it to the Cathedral on time to get our ‘credencial’ to stay in pilgrim hostels along the route. When we made it to the cathedral there was nobody to be seen so we returned to the tourist office to ask where we might get our credencial. They said it was in the cathedral and it closed in 10 minutes so to hurry back.
Aha… the grace of our backpacks not arriving with us… now we could easily run back before closing time! They were just about to close the door and telling us to come back in the morning. Deborah said we had been there before but that there was nobody by the desk half an hour ago… must have been on coffee break or something! We got our passes;)

Deborah and Tina in Santiago

Here we are after 250 km… in Santiago…still smiling.

It wasn’t always like that…

Our bags arrived late that evening, just as we had found a hostel. The following morning we set out early and discovered it had been Carnivale… everywhere we walked we ran into people still celebrating and the cafe’s were filled.

As we reached the river to walk towards the beach we stopped at a little cafe to use the toilet and then strapped up again. Just as I wanted to close the chest strap…snap… it broke off! Mmm… adjusting the backpack somewhat it didn’t seem to matter so I walked on.

Over the course of the weeks the hipbuckle snapped and then on the last day one of the shoulderstraps as well! Wow, anything else and I would have had to carry the bag another way;) Every time I had to adjust it was amazing how much gratitude I felt when it somehow worked again…

Camino signpost

We made a bit of a detour the first day and that ended up creating a stretch of well over 30 km.
Everything was going fine and I was just thinking how easy this was… then suddenly my left buttock
started to contract and after a while I could hardly walk! We were just at a junction where we had to
choose to walk on or call it a night. Deborah was walking at super speed and could have kept going.

This was my first opportunity to honor my own rhythm and listen to my body…
I told D. that if she wanted to keep going then to please do so and not let me hold her back from her
rhythm. Amazing what this brought to the surface for me…

My ‘old’ way would have been to keep going and to overstep my own boundaries because I would not have wanted to hold anyone else back… Now there was no way I could keep going so what kind of response would this elicit from others?.. From myself?…

We walked ( well, I hobbled) to a hostel mentioned in our directions and wow…was I glad to have a shower! Out came the blisters and muscle gel and oils… and my cocktail of magnesium! It was still pretty early but I was worn out.
D. kept reminding me that my body would recover during the night and that I would be amazed at its restorative healing power…

Before going away I had started to write down what I wanted to surrender and update during this journey. I also invited others to share anything they might want me to take on the walk with me so that I could clear it on their behalf.
It was really beautiful to receive the requests and to see how these were resonating with me in some way. Sometimes I thought I was ‘done’ with them…hahaha… the walk gave me the space to really clear things up.

So during the day I was taking what was on my list ( whether my own things or from others) and asking the Divine to take this from me to be optimized with every step.
I also kept on repeating the Ho’oponopono mantra: I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.
I would notice my response to what was on the list and keep on repeating the mantra until I felt waves of love and light in me. When the topic was someone else’s then I felt these waves of love and light flowing into and through them as well. It moved me to tears many times to feel so much love and to experience how connected we all are…

In the evening I would often do a TAT ( Tapas Acupressure Technique) session to clear up whatever had accumulated and to support my body’s healing.

The first 9 days I walked and cleared… while being ever so aware of each step, the impact it had on my body and allowing the energy channels in my body to fully open.
The aches and pains were moving around, having started with my left buttock, moving to the right side and when that had balanced I had a few hours of bliss from walking without pain.

It felt as if the places in me where I had not fully taken up residence with my Soul were now being cleared and opened…
Walking was so very grounding for me and this was precisely what I had resisted for so many years…

Once those channels were open,though, the freedom I experienced awakened a whole new level of joy in me. Touching my legs and feet with such gratitude and appreciation…

It was on day 5 that I had a very profound experience. My right achilles tendon had been cramping and it was very painful to walk. I had adjusted my shoes, put on bandages, however, nothing eased the discomfort.
While walking I asked my tendon what was stored in there that was ready to be handed over the the Divine to be optimized… what was causing this pain…

I got a flash of a time long ago when I shut down my full power. I had experienced physical pain easing over the last few days while calling for help from my guides and angels, however, this was becoming so excruciatingly painful that I could hardly walk.
We happened to be on the most physically intense day of the walk, which was also the most beautiful as far as being in nature goes…

I remember talking with my tendon and saying that I was willing to heal whatever was there and then I suddenly saw one of my guides walking next to me! As clearly as I saw my friend…
He said he could show me what to do to release the pain and embrace my power again.

Mmmm… was I hallucinating?

I agreed and said that if this REALLY worked then I would never doubt again. Oh my… how stubborn can I be?!
But… this was such a crippling pain that it seemed I would need some super natural experience;)

My friend was way ahead of me and here I was limping along and accompanied by my guide.
He then started to tell me what to do and within 15 minutes the pain was completely gone.
I moved my foot around and tried all kinds of things to ‘test’ if it was really gone! Yep, a persistent part of me!

IT WAS GONE! Wow… for the rest of that day’s journey he walked beside me and reminded me of many things I had forgotten and answered many of my questions. He said he would be with me throughout this journey and then gave me an assignment for the next few days to anchor this new frequency in my body and energy field.

Then I reached the top of the steep climb and… actually ran down the hill!!! Just a short while ago I was limping…now I was running and feeling light as a feather.

0 km point Finisterre

Over the next few days I did as I had been instructed and I felt the energy shift and healing occur as I walked and sometimes while I was resting.
When I woke up on day 10 I knew the clearing was done. Now it was time to walk and ‘simply’ enjoy the rest of the walk. Free from aches and pains, light in my soul and heart…

That day I sang : ‘I am love, I am beauty, I am bliss!’ the whole way and it felt sooooo good!

Something deep within me had shifted… I wondered what everyone on my list had been experiencing these last few days.
I would sometimes catch myself thinking in the past that I was too small to make a difference when it came to contributing love to events elsewhere in the world…

When I heard about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan I spent the entire day holding everyone there in my heart and repeating the Ho’oponopono mantra. Asking for forgiveness if any part of me had contributed to this in any way… apologizing for the grief and chaos…. seeing huge waves of love pouring from my heart to everyone there… and thanking them for bringing this into my awareness so whatever was there to be optimized by the Divine could now be completed.

I felt deeply connected to everyone and had a deep sensation of the difference I was making by what I was doing.
Never again will I doubt that I do affect the whole.

Arriving in Santiago was quite an experience as well…  about 2 km out I really needed a rest so we lay down in a grassy field to enjoy the sunshine and put my feet up. My lower right quad had been playing up for a while and made it a bit of a challenge when walking down any hill. So… I called on my guides and asked for a healing. They arrived and infused so much love into me that it felt as if I had just been plugged into an electrical socket and had a love surge!
When I got up the pain was gone… and we walked the last few km to arrive at the Cathedral. I have never seen anything like it… maybe I will write about it another time.

We had a day off in Santiago to enjoy the city and then had just enough time to go to Finisterre, another 90km, to the final stop of the Camino. Where they used to think the earth ended.

For me this was the most beautiful part of the walk, maybe also because of the contrast of the city to being completely in nature again for the entire walk.
When we reached the 0 km signpost it dawned on me that this Camino had been like a retracing of the steps I had taken in my life, the choices I had made which had gotten me to where I was now… and having cleared the energy of this that I now had the chance to start again.

Shredding the release list

I walked to the place where many pilgrims before me have burned something from their walk and I shredded the release list and released it to the wind… FREE!

Time to create a new story…

The seeds have been planted… taking the Camino into my ‘normal’ life… I had no idea yet what it would be like to be back home again. Walking had become such a way of living these past few weeks that I can imagine doing this again but then for even longer…

Arriving back at Schiphol I was greeted by the radiant smile of my dear friend Carla as she waited for me in the arrivals hall! Oh, how it made me smile inside and out to see her again. And Paul was waiting for us outside. Reunion time with my dearest friends;)

Over dinner we shared our experiences of the past few weeks and then they took me home. So weird to walk into my home again and being able to sleep in my own bed… Heavenly…
To be flying that day and then to be in a car after walking all those miles felt odd… my body wanted to move…
The Camino insights are settling into my life now and I feel they will continue to integrate for a while.

Walking is an amazing metaphor for life… unless we take a step then we don’t go anywhere.. and where we go depends on the choices we make. Mmm…. to be continued!

joyful blessings,
Tina

FREE

Love, love, love

11. November 2010 · Write a comment · Categories: Uncategorized · Tags: , , , ,

“What if we all decided right now to tune into the love frequency, our inner love channel, every day?…and broadcast love… can you imagine?…
Whenever thoughts or feelings of discord arise, to simply choose to change the channel back to love again… ♥♥♥”~ Dr Tina

Could it really be this simple?… Choosing to change our channel to love….
The Beatles were onto it as were many others;)
Perhaps we simply need to be reminded… love is the answer….

The next time you find yourself feeling irritated or annoyed, worried or stressed, or anything other than love…
CHANGE THE CHANNEL!
This is very easy to do when asking yourself the following question:
How would I prefer my experience with…. ( fill in the blank) to be?

By tuning into how you prefer things to be, you shift your focus and… that shifts your energy… in other words: it changes your channel!

Don’t take my word for it, though… experience it for yourself and
be sure to share your insights…

Joyful blessings,

Tina

Love me or Leave me…

24. October 2010 · 1 comment · Categories: clearing fear, energy clearing · Tags: , , , , , ,

How many times have you tried to be all things to all people? Trying to please everyone…. During my years in the airlines I had the greatest training opportunities when it came to people pleasing ;) In the early years I gave it my best shot… yet no matter how hard I tried to make everyone happy…there would always be someone unsatisfied…
I’d rationalize it away by thinking they were talking to my uniform and what that represented in their life yet it still felt most unpleasant to be the target of their upset.

Then I stepped into a leadership role as purser… by then I was well into my healing training and had many tools and techniques up my sleeve to diffuse energy and stay in alignment, regardless of what was going on around me.

Well… that worked pretty well most of the time, however, the night flights had a way of giving me a reality check to see how far I had really come! I’d start out by sending blessings to everyone with every breath while attempting to take meal orders in first and business class…  it was amazing how people responded…
Then I’d let the blessings slide for a few minutes and just focus on the meals and…wham! Someone would be irritated about not having their first choice available…
If I was alert enough then I’d catch myself and start consciously sending blessings again and the situation would resolve peacefully within seconds…. yet more often than not I’d get caught up in the battle energy and be caught off guard, wondering what had just happened;)

Where it really tested me was with colleagues and ofcourse with family, friends and lovers…. I am eternally grateful for the many opportunities they gave me, probably unconsciously, to practice staying true to myself. Knowing that it is impossible to please everyone is one thing…
being okay with people rejecting me while trusting that those who love me will be drawn to me and those who are not a match will leave… that took some practice… and still trips me up at times.

So ofcourse, the closer we feel to people, the more attached we tend to be to having their approval and… that is the perfect recipe for the people pleaser to be activated!

That pain and fear of rejection will have us do the strangest things… so clear up those fears and need for approval and start loving who you are with total abandon ;) Adore yourself… appreciate your quirks and supposed oddities… marvel at your talents and gifts… be delighted by who you are being in this world… celebrate the love and support in your life… from yourself, from your connection to your Infinite Self, from others, from Life…

And be amazed at how allowing those not in alignment with you to leave you… makes room for those who do love and adore you as much as you do to enter! Liberation and freedom…

So…. love me or leave me…

and joyful blessings to you all!

Tina