How To Keep Shining Your Light When Doubt Kicks In

18. April 2013 · 7 comments · Categories: clearing fear, Embodying Divinity · Tags: , , , ,

Have you ever noticed that anytime you have chosen to uplevel your life or business that precisely at those times doubt creeps in? Trying to numb you, confuse you or whatever it takes to stop you from shining your light brighter than before.

Anyone who has ever taken a leap of faith by investing in a program, coach or mentor to transform their life will know what I am talking about here.

You get started with great enthusiasm and then usually somewhere around the 3rd or 4th week into your program, resistance starts to fight you every step of the way. Welcome to your inner saboteur!

How to recognize it? Here are 7 of the common ways:

  1. internet or phone connection will drop right in the middle of your session, usually at precisely the point of crucial insight
  2. foggy brain or eyes glaze over and unable to stay conscious to hear what is being said
  3. you miraculously ‘forget’ the time of your appointment or find yourself stuck in traffic or otherwise held up
  4. you start falling behind in the program, feel overwhelmed and want to drop out
  5. you find yourself doing the exact opposite of what you said you would
  6. you start shoulding on yourself and end up feeling miserable
  7. just because you ‘mess up’, rather than seeing that as a learning opportunity, you come to the conclusion that nothing will ever work for you so why bother

I have been in another upleveling phase for the last few months myself by participating in several programs to redesign my sacred business. It’s a ‘work in progress’.
This has challenged me to stretch into getting ‘out there’ even while things are not yet ready, to create a program which really reflects the joy flowing through me and to let that be an amazing transformational experience for everyone who joins me as they release their limitations and struggle so they can trust their heart and inner guidance and experience the joy and ease of expressing their authentic Self.

On top of that, I have also participated in Nalini’s Trinity program over the last 3 months. Surrendering the personal self into the Divinity I am. I thought I had done that a gazillion times! Haha, the ‘little self’ sure knows how to play tricks to have us believe its lies. HINT: The fact that I ‘thought’ I had ‘done’ this were red flags.

It has been the most phenomenal journey. Surrendering into BEing. Interestingly enough, as the weeks progressed and whatever had been holding out from surrendering dissolved, clarity emerged and the creative juices were on fire.

Since last week’s new moon it feels as if everything has gone into love speed and it is hard to fathom how much has changed and been implemented since then.

Implemented. A key word in these times. Acting on the inspiration from your infinite BEingness.

Since sending out invitations for the new Joy Booster Discovery Sessions last week, I have had the pleasure of sharing the most sacred conversations with the courageous women who took me up on this call to discover the one thing their heart most desires.
Such an honor and such a joy.

If you’re anything like me, then you will find it much easier to walk your talk when you have the support of a strong community.

And, in fact, you may find yourself participating in several communities, much like tribes.
Sometimes loyalty to your tribe, however, can actually keep you ‘stuck’. It can also take you to new heights.
Tribes can be your family of origin, your soul group family, your friends, your colleagues or anywhere you belong to a group.

Caroline Myss says it so well: “You only rise as high as the tribe you’re in.”

By sharing with others in your tribe, everyone can evolve by supporting one another to rise and shine. When you are in a program to evolve yourself or your business, you can receive amazing feedback from each other, opening to new perspectives, new possibilities, which you might not have considered. Your blind spots are usually very visible to others. When you are willing to receive support, you will keep going when the saboteur shows up.

In order to keep going when times get tough, you have to be connected with your passion, your big WHY. Your inner commitment. This is what fuels the fire in your belly and lights up your heart.

This requires you to connect with your feeling nature and to allow your most vulnerable side to be revealed. It calls forth from within what has been there all along. Your inner treasures.

It’s at times like these that your commitment to embodying the light that you are has got to be priority number one.

Your commitment to living a life of ease and joy has to be stronger than your commitment to struggle and pain.

Your commitment to shining your light has to be stronger than the fear of rejection, which ironically keeps you rejecting YOU.

You know what to do but… do you do what you know? In other words, are you trusting your inner guidance AND are you acting on the inspirations you receive?

As things have been shifting really fast all of a sudden ~  ofcourse it is never all of a sudden but it sure can feel that way~  I am finding it most helpful to spend extra time in nature to integrate all the transformations. My preference is to be by and in the ocean. Especially when the colors of the sunset dazzle my senses with delight.
I also just started a daily yoga practice again by joining the Gaiam TV 14 Day Spring Cleaning Challenge.

For all you high achievers out there… if you’re up for a challenge, this might just be a fun one for you!

To shift the striving for perfection, wanting to be and do the best to an attitude of striving for excellence. This includes accepting where you are at any point in time. On some days the yoga classes are less than half an hour. The inner perfectionist might just want to push you on to DO more. Or not bother at all if it is so little.

Mmm… is this playing out elsewhere in your life?

By allowing yourself to commit to showing up for yourself everyday, you will find your body gently adjusting and becoming stronger and more supple. Easy does it;)

So what to do when doubt sneaks its way into your experience?

  • move your body ~ even just getting up and sitting in another part of the room… or dance or have a yoga session or go outside and enjoy time in nature
  • shift your perspective ~ one physical way to quickly shift is to let your body hang to the floor and look up at the world from this upside down perspective. Plus it rushes some fresh blood to your brain!
  • Choose to re-commit to your divine alignment
  • connect with a buddy in your program or reach out to your mentor or coach; if you haven’t found your tribe or mentor yet, then set an intention to be shown an optimal match for you
  • acknowledge yourself for how far you have come, for the steps you have taken
  • celebrate something you achieved and count your blessings
  • remember your big WHY

You are here to embody your Divinity, to shine your light, to express your unique gifts and talents with the world so as to be the biggest contribution you came here to BE.

Do not let doubt or fear hold you back from your commitment. Be strong enough to know when to reach out for support. You denying your Self is not serving anyone nor is it nourishing you with joy.

To be continued…

Many joyful blessings,

Tina
www.innerdelight.com

Copyright © 2013 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.

How To Quickly Erase Fear

17. March 2013 · Write a comment · Categories: clearing fear, Embodying Divinity · Tags: , , , , , ,

How to quickly erase all your fears, worries, anxiety for once and for all?

Sync with your infinite Self, the YOU that is your unique expression of Divinity.

You are not separate from YOU, as much as your mind might tell you otherwise

Do you think that YOU are limited in any way?
That YOU are lacking in anything?

 

Do you think YOU have access to ALL of YOU?
Therefore have access to everything you desire, right NOW?

Yes, that old cliche that everything you desire is already inside you…
you just have to align with it.

Or, another way to put it:  you just have to sync with YOU.

Anytime you are experiencing fear, anxiety, worry, doubt… you have simply disconnected from YOU.
Simply plug back in, just as you would plug in the chord of your ipod to your computer to synchronize all the files.

Just imagine for a moment that YOU are the computer, the Source Databank, fully connected with the playing field of infinite potential, where anything is possible.

Where anything can be created because you have access to everything.

Now… are you willing to plug into YOU and allow ALL of your database to be synchronized with the Source Databank?

As all of your data – the stories, the memories, the feelings, the beliefs, the rules, the agreements, the vows, the conditioning, ALL of it – is being synchronized with the infinite BEing you truthfully are, everything which is not aligned with that is simply erased,deleted, dissolved. Gone.

  • All the ways you had amnesia, forgetting who YOU really are…gone.
  • All the limitations you were held back by… gone.
  • All the pretending to be less than you really are… gone.
  • All the ways you ever denied yourself the magnificence of YOU… gone.
  • All the ways you pretended you were separate from the Divinity you are…gone.
  • All the failsafe mechanisms which kept you small and disconnected from the truth of YOU… gone.
  • All the ways you ever hoarded anything just in case you might need it someday…gone.
  • All excess baggage- emotionally, physically, mentally- … gone.

All systems optimized, functioning at love speed, plugged into Infinite Database.

Now… are you ready to own the magnificence of the infinite BEingness YOU are?

What would you like to create now, having access to absolutely anything and everything in these playing fields of infinite possibilities?

If this brings up any hesitation, just check your chord into YOU.
You might have gotten unplugged and disconnected before the full synchronization was complete.

Simply ‘Click to Sync’ once again and allow the process to complete.
The first time might take a little while as ALL your corrupt files have to be deleted.
You can stay plugged in 24/7, allowing synchronization to occur in real time.

It may just take your mind a few reminders that this is really possible now.
So just in case you notice you got unplugged, simply re-connect, Click to Sync and allow yourself to be fully aligned with the Divinity you are!

Oh, and another SYNChronicity… The image for the syncing jumped out at me and as I was writing this, I syddenly saw one of the beautiful Aura Soma bottles… same colors…

it is called Open Sesame and is about the depths of wisdom being expressed in a whole new way… to be expressed through the heart… when love and the truth of power are one, it is often referred to as feminine leadership. Where the power of love has transformed the love of power, which was more accurately force and suppressed wisdom.

Time to choose…

Have fun and happy creating;)

to be continued…

Many joyful blessings,

Tina
www.innerdelight.com

Copyright © 2013 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.

 

Michael Tamura on You Are the Answer

18. December 2012 · Write a comment · Categories: clearing fear · Tags: , , , , ,

In these times of the great shift, I find it very refreshing to hear messages which inspire and uplift my soul.

I remember being drawn to Michael Tamura’s book ‘You Are The Answer’ many moons ago and resonating deeply with his message of love. Tamura was recently interviewed on Gaiam TV Inspirations show by host Lisa Garr. What a fascinating conversation.

Tamura has been a spiritual teacher and healer for the last 38 years, although he was aware of his ‘assignment’ from a very young age. He jokes about how he didn’t have a very receptive audience in those early days and realized he would have to be older before people would listen to the wisdom he was here to share.

In the past decade he has had five experiences where he physically died and came back with very powerful messages.
Tamura’s descriptions of each of these death experiences highlights that death is not what most people have made it out to be.

In his own words: “Most people’s concept of death is physical death… from the soul’s perspective death is letting go and learning. We don’t have to get rid of the body to do that.”

As a child, Michael used to see geometric patterns around people and he later discovered, while swimming with dolphins, that they see these patterns and communicate that way. This way of perceiving later turned into seeing auras around people, which he described as colored clouds.

I just love the way he talks about seeing the light in people and how the brightness depends on how much someone has covered up their light, usually out of fear. Let the fear go and shine your light!
Hearing him talk about the planning stages before coming into this life may just give you a fresh perspective on the people you are, and have been, connected with and how you are always in the right place.

Just prior to his first death experience he was in so much physical pain and not sure how much longer he could handle this. Next thing he knew, he was out of his body and being escorted by this great beautiful being into a conference type room. There he was seated around a table with five beings of light, including the one who had escorted him. They appeared to him as people and they welcomed him completely, which Tamura describes as having the experience of their total beingness all at once, beyond just words or feelings.

He was congratulated on having fulfilled his earth assignment way beyond the call of duty and then was given a choice: Stay here or return to earth.
With each subsequent death experience he received another level of letting go and learning, taking the wisdom from those experiences back with him to share with the world.
Hearing Tamura talking about his experiences with so much joy, I felt his light resonate within every cell of my being as his messages were absorbed. One of them being the power to choose, choosing the eternity of life and how that releases the experience of separation.

What made me giggle is that Michael’s wife is called Raphaelle, also a great healer. Two archangels in physical form. Archangel Michael being the one to call on when one needs courage to release fears and to cut ties, while archangel Rafael is the angel to call on for healing. I’d say Tamura and his wife are embodying these qualities beautifully.

No wonder his story is being turned into a movie. I was mesmerized and can hardly wait to see the rest.

You can see this delightful interview for yourself on Gaiam TV with a free 10 day trial at  http://tinyurl.com/MichaelTamura

I invite you to leave your comments below as to what moved you and what you are taking away from Michael’s story.

To be continued…

Many joyful blessings,

Tina
www.innerdelight.com

Copyright © 2012 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Are you Creating From Necessity or By Choice?

29. October 2012 · Write a comment · Categories: clearing fear, Embodying Divinity · Tags: , , , , ,

Have you ever seen one of those slot machines at the casino, where you put in coins and with random luck the pictures all line up and you win the jackpot?


When I was a young girl, one of my parent’s friends had one of those machines in her office. She’d give me a bucket of coins and let me play until I got bored with it. After the initial rounds of letting the pictures line up randomly, I would choose my favorite ones, which were the cherries, and with every next yank on that handle, would see those cherries in my mind’s eye and keep playing until I had them all lined up. Sometimes that would be a few rounds and other times with the last coin… but when it happened, I’d yell out in joy and delight!

Life can feel a bit like this game at times… if you stay at it long enough, then the odds might be in your favor.  Maybe a little win here and there with the continued hope that one of these days the big one shows up… The thrill of gambling?
Waiting for that one lucky strike that will change everything?

Ever since the Law of Attraction reached mainstream awareness, many people have experienced a lot of mixed results when it comes to manifesting the life of their dreams using this law.

Like attracts like… what you focus upon expands…
What many people are not aware of, or have chosen to ignore, is that this includes everything held in the pool of your unconscious… and therein lies the rub.
It being unconscious, how do you know what’s there?
One way to get a clue is by seeing what shows up in your life.

If it’s a bag of mixed results,  if your manifesting feels like a slot machine game , then it may be time to ask yourself if you are creating from necessity or by choice…

When creating out of necessity, can you feel the neediness, the desperation, the plea for your request to be granted? This just has to show up or else… followed by your variation of the worst case scenario.
The money has to show up, I NEED it to pay the mortgage, the rent, the bills, or else… life won’t be worth living…

So you pray for the best, go to work and maybe even reach into your manifesting toolkit to pull out all the tricks, you might book a session with someone with your last dollars in the hope that this will do the trick, and with a bit of luck, phew! Made it…
Until the next mortgage payment is due…

Mmm… interesting choice of words… mort-gage… ‘mort’ means death in French…

Much like praying to God, Source, the Divine, as taught throughout the centuries… it has been pleading to some authority OUTSIDE yourself. Feeling at the mercy of… rather than being in communion with, by tapping into the Source within, your very own Source connection.
When you have had a few ‘wins’ , it gives you the hope to keep at it… have enough knocks or ‘failures’ and you’ll reach the point of wanting to quit, throw in the towel, what’s the point?

If you have ever found yourself feeling this way or are there at the moment, what if this is cause for celebration?
You have tried the old game and finally had enough…
Yippee!

Time to start creating by choice.

How do you do this?

First, you set the intention to place EVERYTHING  you have ever believed about what it takes to manifest your desires into the cosmic laundry service and how that has made you FEEL.
That includes ALL that has been stored in your unconscious, WITHOUT having to know all the details.
So, if there is a part of you that believes or feels it has to be in control of this and has to see every single item that was stored before it can be placed in the laundry, then give yourself permission for THAT to be released of its duty right now.

If there is something you absolutely need to be aware of, it will be shown or revealed to you in some unmistakable way.
This may call for some extra super detergent;)

If you’ve ever run a virus scanner through your computer or an optimizer program to make everything function much faster, then you know what I mean. It does its job and collects all the malfunctioning bits and pieces, and when complete, it shows a list of it all and will ask you to confirm the deletion.

So whichever imagery works for you, into the laundry service with it all or turn on the virus scanner through your inner software and hard disc space.

All the feelings you have ever experienced around all of this…including all the  wonderful feelings from times things did work out.

Why? Because they have been tainted with the fear of all those times things didn’t work out as you’d hoped.

If you notice any resistance to letting that go… that’s the fear talking. Fear that you might lose it all and be left with nothing.

Yep.You will have released yourself from the field of fear and limitations by extracting all you have ever contributed to this field.

Again, being conscious of the fact that a lot of this happened unconsciously, so don’t go beating yourself up over it, saying you should have known better, blah,blah,blah.

In that field of nothingness you stand on the threshold of an entirely new playing field, filled with infinite potential and possibilities, where you can create a new field of resonance infused with joy.

All that energy which had been invested in the field of fear, this is pure life-force energy,  can now be used to create by choice.

You have the power to choose. Will you step beyond the threshold? Beyond where you have ever explored before? Are you willing to discover the truth of who you are?

It calls for you to get out of your own way and allow yourself to be lifted into the experience of unity, oneness with life,  with your Self, and letting that energy flow into your creations. To be in co-creation with and as the Divine spark that is YOU.

Creating by choice requires you to feel what would be fun for you. What brings you joy? What fills your heart with beauty?
This will be unique to you and may vary in any given moment.

Perhaps it is music which takes you beyond yourself and and lifts you into an entirely different dimension.
Or spending time in nature, feeling the magnificence of so much beauty everywhere…
Perhaps you experience this state of losing yourself when you’re in or by the ocean, gazing at a luminous starry sky, tasting food which just sends your taste buds into ecstasy…
Perhaps your key is poetry…
For others it may be communing with God, Source, the Divine directly…
Whatever it is, when you tap into that field and then allow that energy to infuse your creations… you are now creating by choice.

This is infused with the infinite grandness of your Divine Self, beyond anything your mind can even begin to comprehend.

 

This way of manifesting feels empowered.  It is filled with pure power of essence.
You are bound to have experienced this and may have described it as a miracle…

I don’t know about you but I have managed to forget during times of stress and then found myself creating by default… driven by necessity and with random results.

The penny dropped this morning.

After a weekend of feeling triggered by the cash in my wallet reduced to a couple of notes, my bank balance not covering the overdue bills  and not seeing how this was going to change in time, I asked my friend Nicola to join me in a matrix process on this one.
We wrote everything out on a flip chart and when we were done, I went for a long walk in nature.
It was close to freezing and yet the sun was shining and lit up the trees and fields, filling me with such reverence for this beauty… that I felt the remnants of whatever had been revealed and cleared in the matrix just be lifted… and I felt myself lifted..

Into a new field of resonance…

Before going to sleep last night, I gazed at the stars and the amazingly beautiful almost full moon… and I felt this oneness with the grandness of life, infusing me with yet another dose of beauty and joy, amping that field of resonance.

In this field, I felt another Joy Sprinkle Infusion *…

and when I woke up, I realized that every time I have been ‘plugged into’ this field, the miracles happen.
I had asked Mary Nalini MacNab from Delphic Wave about this matrix experience and she asked me: “What if you ARE out and this is an assimilationist ploy to get you back ‘in’ because the logistics loom?” Thank the Goddess for mentoring me through Nalini!

I just hadn’t registered that I was letting myself be tricked or tempted into the old field out of habit whenever something triggered stress…like money supply being low and not yet seeing a solution presented by Source.

It is soooo much more fun to create by choice when tapped into the resonant field of joy and experience the miracles.
The mind will come up with all kinds of reasons that you don’t have time for this, that it is irresponsible, don’t you see you need to sort this out?! The voice of the controller…

Keeping you in the loop of doing what doesn’t work and just trying even harder, with all the resulting frustration of being in that loop!
Much like Einstein’s definition of insanity… doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results.

I know what my preference is and that is creating by choice. Embodied Divinity, experiencing the magic of manifesting Source into matter.
How about you?

To be continued…

Many joyful blessings,

Tina
www.innerdelight.com

Copyright © 2012 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.

P.S. * What is a Joy Sprinkle Infusion? Find out how it presented itself to me from this new playing field the other day…

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Secrets to Exposing Your Inner Fraud and Be Free at Last

23. October 2012 · Write a comment · Categories: clearing fear, Embodying Divinity, Joy Sprinkle Trail · Tags: , , , , , , ,

If you have ever experienced stress or challenges around money, or if you have ever felt like a fraud, then you may well be able to relate to what I am about to share with you here…

This post has been a long time coming. The words have been brewing inside to be expressed authentically. But first there were a few more layers of the proverbial onion to be peeled.

In my case, this money onion has had seemingly infinite layers. Over the years I would recognize certain patterns and use the energy clearing tools at hand to diffuse the emotional charge which was keeping the challenge or irritation in place. The situation would improve just enough to feel as if it had really shifted when in truth, the core of the matter was still playing out. Without the tap root removed, much to my frustration as I couldn’t seem to get at it, the issues would keep playing out like a Broadway show in its umpteenth season. Every time with just another twist so as not to be recognized immediately. No matter what I had been doing, this was starting to feel as if it was etched into my core and I was just going to have to live with it.

The unraveling of this persistent program took on an interesting turn the moment I had had enough.

Enough of the distortions, enough of the limitations and most of all, enough of trying to fit in and attempt to conform.
The moment I reached that place where I would rather die than keep living this way, while being very clear that my preference was to live and embody my light,  I had a huge breakthrough.
You may have read about what happened in one of my earlier posts Dying to Your Old Life to Wake Up in New Reality.

Everything changed. I sold and gave away most of my earthly belongings, moved out of the apartment I had only recently moved into and loved, to go where?… On the Joy Sprinkle Trail… to stay wherever I was invited and allow myself to be guided by my joy. I had made a commitment a long, long time ago to live a fully Source directed life.

In plain terms, that meant I handed over the navigation system controls to the Divine and trust that I’d be shown which steps to take and when.

Just when I thought I’d surrendered all there was to surrender ( HINT: thinking I’d surrended fully was a sure fire clue that there was still some part holding out! ), I discovered there was someone I had to deal with who had been keeping me hostage for who knows how long.

As the veils of separation have been lifting, I have been able to perceive more clearly. This also meant I saw things I’d rather not see or know about… like all the distortions which have been keeping humanity, including myself, in a stranglehold and a slave to the system.

Have you ever heard someone make a remark and it suddenly cleared up a bunch of questions you’d been pondering? This is what happened when I heard Mary Nalini MacNab from Delphic Wave say: “We are NOT all one, we are all of the Oneness, each in individuated form.” ( you can read the blog about that here: We Are NOT All One )

As Nalini says: “Spirit has been mentoring me through her”.
Through a series of email chats, and me mentioning something as an afterthought about all of this, the truth was revealed to me about what had been keeping this very persistent and annoying core program in place.
I had been skirting around the edges, managing the energies and experiencing relief and transformations here and there but while my energetic matrix still contained this program, it would keep on playing out, over and over again.

I had to get into the matrix and dissolve the entire structure.

This was riddled with so many double binds… you know, these are the kinds of knots/distortions in your thinking which get so entangled that it seems impossible to get them undone, like a gordion knot.

You know you have discovered a double bind when you are facing several options and either way, you’ll be screwed.

So what the mind tends to do then is numb out or create so much confusion that you’ll back off and leave it for another day. Ever done that? Keep on repeating the same scenarios with different players!

As I said earlier on, I thought I had surrendered all there was to surrender…

I was about to experience another round of everything changing.

With Nalini’s support in a private session, I took a dive into my energetic matrix and discovered what had been keeping me in a gridlock…

It was this deeply etched belief that living a fully Source directed abundant life would eventually lead to being a fraud.

There were all these agreements in place which acted like failsafe protection mechanisms, like a well designed computer program, preventing me from ever releasing this core distortion and thereby perpetuating this cycle over and over again.

Can you see the double bind? My commitment to living a Source directed abundant life was so strong and yet the fear of sooner or later turning into a fraud, especially triggered by the ‘abundant’ word and all its distortions, had me unconsciously ensure that I’d never fully surrender to  Source and thereby actually be a fraud by not honoring my Self! Talk about living in a hell world and feeling stuck.

The fear of being a fraud has shown up throughout my life and played out by me not fully or freely expressing my truth, hiding out, staying small… because what if I shared what flowed through me from Source turned out to be distorted? That would make me a fraud…

The cosmic joke of it all is that these kinds of distortions keep you precisely in your worst fear place and unless you dissolve the entire matrix which has held it in place, you’ll go through life being haunted by this and wondering how you’ll ever get out of it.

It means you have to be willing to surrender to Source. This may require an upgraded definition of what that actually means as defined by Source;) Being annihilated is not part of this definition, yet is often the underlying fear.

And herein lies the catch. The controller part of you, the part that thinks it is the one in charge, that has to do things or else nothing will get done… that part has to be surrendered. It will tell you that if you let Source run the show and inspire you when to take action, then you’ll be sitting on the couch for a long time… And from personal experience I can tell you it is quite the trickster and will go to any length to hold on and remain in charge.

It never really was yet sure did a damn fine job of pretending. When you are willing to see the distortions you have perceived life through, built your life upon and truly surrender it all to Source, then all the judgments you had about yourself melt away. What others think of you no longer matters. You know you are aligned with Source, with your Divine Self, and in this alignment everything unfolds in Divine timing.

The moment this matrix and all its core programs were dissolved, something magical happened. I felt FREE!
Free to express my truth, free to write from my authentic Self, free to BE, without that nagging feeling that something might be fake or exposed ( which was probably the spiritual ego’s biggest fear) … and I felt an explosion of joy sprinkles throughout my body, as if my cells were dancing and celebrating the release of what had seemed an eternal imprisonment.

 

It suddenly was crystal clear to me why I’d sometimes felt that fraud or fake feeling while my intention was being a clear channel for Source. These weird thoughts of being found out and exposed, as if there was some deep and dark side in me that I didn’t know about yet dreaded having overlooked somehow… This feeling would get stronger the more I affirmed my commitment to living a Source directed abundant life. By the way, I’d left the abundant bit out for a long time and only recently reclaimed that.

Are all my debts and outstanding payments suddenly cleared up? No, not yet, however, I know that Source has the solution and that I am shown which steps to take and when. I had to be reminded that surrendering to Source also meant trusting in Divine timing.

That brought up a few more bits and pieces to be mopped up and handed over into the cosmic laundry service;)
I became very aware how the habit of switching into the DOer mode, attempting to control things, to try and make things happen, would still try and kick in… so then gently, yet firmly, guide it into the cocoon to be transformed and optimized. This is training the mind to a new way of BEing. As with changing any habits, it takes persistence yet it is definitely possible.

I choose joy. The age of suffering is over and joy is the guiding light in the new playing fields emerging. No reference manuals exist. And as long as the controller in you is still running the show, then you’re held hostage in the ‘old’ world, ruled by fear and conformity.

I believe we are at a time where it is not only possible to make this huge shift, I feel it is absolutely crucial to our thriving as a species.

It’s as if there’s currently a special dispensation of sorts which makes it so much easier and faster to clear up your own inner shit, oops… distortions,  and dissolve those dysfunctional matrix patterns. The key here, though, is that YOU have to be willing and ready for whatever it takes to align your energy. And what if you made that choice right now?… Not because you are afraid of the consequences if you don’t… but

because you (vaguely) remember that you made this choice a long time ago and this is your wake up call to truth. The truth shall set you free…

Will you join me in the new emerging playing field? Follow the joy sprinkles and you will find your way.

To be continued…

Many joyful blessings,

Tina
www.innerdelight.com

Copyright © 2012 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.

 

P.S. You might enjoy reading about the Divine Money Laundry Service again…

P.P.S. You can find out more about the Delphic Wave matrix process here: http://www.delphicwave.com/dissolving-the-false-matrix-of-illusion

 

 

 

 

 

We are Not All One

12. October 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: clearing fear · Tags: , , , , , ,

What happens when something you have always believed in, stood for or against, and based your life upon suddenly seems to have been based on a distortion or plain old lie?…

For anyone who has seen the movie “The Truman Show”… what a great analogy for life as a stage set…

Ever since I wrote about my experience a few months ago of having entire inner operating system removed and replaced by a new system ( Dying to your Old Life to Wake Up in New Reality ), I have been getting used to this new way of BEing while the physical body has been releasing the imprints and habits from the old ways of doing.

One of the big illusions/distortions I have been uncovering these last few weeks is the popular phrase that
“We are all ONE”. The best lies are based in truth….

I am just going to say it… We are NOT all ONE.

If this rattles and shakes up what you believe, then just observe what happens…

It was a distinction shared by Mary Nalini MacNab which really stirred up everything within me and felt like a huge relief and acknowledgment of the truth I held within yet had not been able to articulate.

What was this?

We are NOT all ONE… we ARE all of  the ONENESS, each an individuated unique expression of that Oneness.

Yet somehow confusing the two and taking on what was not mine to start with because… well, if we are all one, then I have to embrace everything and everyone as they are all a part of me. If I didn’t resonate with someone or something, then it was a denied aspect of me…

Also known as shadow processing, owning or making peace with your dark side etc .

What if that has all been a big fat lie, a distortion of the Truth, keeping us trapped and entangled in the experience of separation, while pretending to be ‘promoting’ unity?
I’d say that we are all interconnected and that what you and I resonate, the unique soul signature we each carry within, impacts the field of Oneness.

Yet, when recognizing that, as the unique expression of the All That IS, we honor our inner sovereignty by recognizing the light that we are ( hue-man BEings = Beings of Color/Light), then agreeing to experience darkness is buying into the story of separation. What if the story of We are all ONE was pretending to remove separation, whereas it actually keeps the distortion alive?

What if it was really denying my Self, my light?  Not honoring my Self by not holding boundaries in place, not feeling free to choose what I resonate with and allow into my sacred space?

  The next few days I felt waves of intense grief as I saw how the distortion of truth has caused so much separation and pain…

how leaving out just a few words can totally distort the essence of any original message and has caused many a war and justified killing those with a different perspective.

 

How even expressing this distortion may really ruffle a few feathers amongst those who are heavily invested in promoting the message of all being one… and so feeling a part of me wanting to keep quiet, to skirt around the issue, to avoid this entire topic and just stay under the radar…

Pretending to play the game so as not to be annihalated or whatever version my worst fear might take regarding this….and along the way forgetting that I had been pretending…so as to ease the pain and heartbreak of this collective lie…

Interestingly enough, this all came up to the surface just as Saturn moved into scorpio… all about revealing what have been taboo subjects, bringing to light what has been distorted or hidden…

That turned out to be the very topic of the Delphic Wave ISIS initiation this week… amazing when one considers the date for that call was scheduled almost a year ago!

And then, as I was coming to terms with the dissolution of it all, I read a great post on this very topic from the Hathors by Tom Kenyon. You can read it here:  http://tomkenyon.com/the-aethos-sound-meditation

And this morning I read Jill Feeler’s update about ‘Expanding Further Into Unity Consciousness‘ and that also beautifully voiced what I had been feeling. I love the part about releasing/re-leasing:

“In a Shift, the Leases are re-evaluated and the roles and vibrations and frequencies for what experiences are offered, change/shift according to the dawning Age and it’s associated blueprints.  

*You are able, at this time, for this Shift to Re-lease any and all contracts associated with Separation.* “

So… where, if anywhere, are you, or have you been, ignoring the distortions or lies in your life?…Whatever rules, agreements, contracts or whatever you may have pledged allegiance to… what if, by letting all this go, the Truth may be revealed and truly set you free at last?…

How will you express your unique aspect of the Oneness?

To be continued…

Many joyful blessings,

Tina
www.innerdelight.com

Copyright © 2012 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.

 

Releasing Attachment to Habits

05. October 2012 · Write a comment · Categories: clearing fear, Embodying Divinity, Joy Sprinkle Trail · Tags: , , , , , , , ,

What if you were to release all attachments to habits?… What if all your past reference points were no longer there?… What if you were free to create with a clean slate?… Perceive through the eyes of your Self, as your sparkling aspect of Source, free from habitual interpretation…

I have been attending the Delphic Wave Divine Mystery School for the last few years and have been, and am being, entrained to Divine resonance. This can best be described as having my entire system rebooted, the entire inner database ‘dumped’ into the cosmic laundry service to be transformed and optimized… letting go of the stories I have told and believed about myself, about life, about everything.

You know the ones… they tend to start with : I have always/never…and fill in the blank.

All the roles I may have identified with, all the expectations I was holding on to based on past experiences…
Keeping the wisdom gained along the way and letting everything else go… EVEN those ‘yes BUT’ voices;)

One of my BIG ones was the fear that life would be boring if it was all Source directed, that there would be nothing for me to DO if I was ‘simply’ BEing…. which really was the fear that Source might give me experiences I would not enjoy, so I had better stay in control and have a say in the matter! Haha…

This had me look at my definitions of Source/Divine/God… And brought up the question if I truly trust Source?
You can, you know… might just call for the truth of what Source is to be perceived by you… and that will surely shake and rattle a few tightly held onto definitions as everything shifts…

Let each moment unfold and experience the wonder…

With everything shifting and no reference point to refer to or rely on or inform what it might look, be or feel like…nothing to compare it to…
So nothing to grasp or hold on to…
Adventure or terrifying?…

I don’t know about you but I have found this to be quite an adventure and sometimes absolutely terrifying!
Letting go of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!

Including the addictions to old beliefs, agreements, habits of perceiving and holding on to reference points from the ‘past’.

As my field of perception has been opening more and more, I have been practising discernment and honoring my boundaries. Choosing what I am and am not available for…. Honoring my Self to say NO to what or who does not feel good or joyful to be with.

The more the veils are lifted, which clouded your perception, you may find things revealed which you did not want to see or know … You know the ones…

Turning a blind eye to certain things… Isn’t it fascinating how these expressions are such common language?…
If you choose to perceive clearly, to perceive the highest truth in any moment, then you can no longer hide from any places within yourself or your life where you may have turned a blind eye… calling forth to BE your authentic Self… which may just change e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g ! Life as you have known it will never be the same again.

It is a leap of faith… trusting that as you let go that you will land in a place and with people and experiences who are energetically aligned with your Divine essence… What that will look like, be like, feel like? You won’t know until you ‘get there’…

YOU get to choose.
What would be FUN to co- create with Source, to dream into BEing?…
Will you allow yourself to receive that?

After an amazing almost 3 weeks in mystical Cathar country…

Sunset Rennes le Chateau

vineyards turning leaves

magical sunset

Joy Tribe dinner party

I have returned to the gentle energies here in Burgundy.

While going for a wonderful walk along the canal this morning, I felt my beingness weave with nature, the stars, and all that is… as if wrapped in a soft and flowing multi-colored mantle with streams of light dancing back and forth, through me and from me…

while surrounded by these glowing golden trees.

  I felt the abundance and beauty of nature resonating within me and I started to   sing this mantra as suggested by Dr Pillai : “Shreem, shreem, shreem…” over and over again… and next thing I knew, this golden light, much like the glowing trees, was flowing within my brain like a fountain and flowing into the rest of my body, the frequency of abundance and beauty filling me to overflowing, weaving with nature…

I wonder what will emerge next….

Adventures on the Joy Sprinkle Trail…

to be continued…

Many joyful blessings,

Tina
www.innerdelight.com

Copyright © 2012 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.

Women and Anger

14. September 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: clearing fear · Tags: , , , ,

What is it with women and anger that will have them shove it down, ignore it, deny it, suppress it or otherwise avoid dealing with it?

What is it that has made so many women shut up when truthfully they  felt a loud scream wanting to be expressed? What is it about women fearing the expression of anger that, rather than saying NO MORE, they silently allow it and put up with all kinds of abuse? What is it about women believing they have to be ‘a good girl’ and that having a fit of rage is not allowed or appropriate? What is it about women that they will rather deny themselves than risk disappointing anyone else?

For many years I felt extremely uncomfortable being around anyone expressing their anger or rage. Even if it wasn’t directed at me, I would attempt to harmonize the energy so as to restore peace as soon as possible. Especially when this anger seemd completely irrational to me.


I had been told many a time that I was suppressing the anger within myself and that it might help to go for a drive, turn the stereo up full blast and let myself scream, so as to get that pent up energy moving. Well, I’d try that but the only thing that brought me were a sore throat and even more frustration that I couldn’t seem to get to the core of it. Never mind that I’d feel extremely conscious of anyone driving by and possibly hearing me and thinking me stark raving mad!

Then 9/11 happened and a month later I happened to have a week’s intensive at the healing school I was attending.

That’s when the terrorist in me was set free…

the grief and feeling powerless about the events that had happened, triggered a time bomb within me, which had been ticking away for a very long time.
In this safe space I suddenly felt the grief rise to the surface and I started sobbing until I was wailing…. and then I started feeling the anger well up from deep within me… and before I knew it I was shredding big fat yellow page books to pieces while screaming, yelling and sobbing all at the same time… while seeing the terrorists of 9/11 and in my mind beating them to pieces… then suddenly seeing flashes of many other lifetimes in which I had not felt safe to express the rage within or where I had done so and then been killed in one form or another… seeing priests in churches and temples telling me to do one thing while I felt they were being hypocrits by  not walking their talk and now yelling at them how I really felt about them… and then eventually it came to expressing my rage and fury at God…

Shreds of paper everywhere… finally exhausted from all this energy being released… and experiencing the moment of re-emerging into oneness and experiencing the truth of God, the Divine… and then the sorrow and shame for having forgotten the truth… and finally the peace of being Home again….

It was the shame that had held me back from accessing and releasing this core piece.

Not only the shame of having forgotten the truth but also all the rules and conditions of being a woman… and letting myself express anger in any way, shape or form was just so not lady like!

So rather than risking being judged by others and all the consequences associated with that, I (un)consciously allowed that rage to turn inward upon itself. It would show up as being very demanding of myself, critical and having impossibly high standards to live by.

Having been let down one time too many, the disappointments had set into motion this program of not needing anyone else. “I can take care of myself fine, thank you very much.” I would rather go without something than having to ask for support, just in case I’d be denied or rejected, or… worse still… be considered weak. As long as I was giving, then I was in control and felt strong and secure ( or so that part in me thought!).

Not exactly conducive to receiving…

Yet that explosion unleashed the raw creative lifeforce and power kept hostage within me for goodness knows how long and was a huge catalyst on my awakening journey.

Over the years I have facilitated thousands of TAT ( Tapas Acupressure Technique) sessions and time and time again I have witnessed this lifeforce power being unleashed in others while holding the pose, inviting someone into their awareness with whom they have unfinished business and giving themselves permission to truly express how they feel about them. When I mention that this is not a time to be spiritual, they usually have to laugh and then feel this huge relief.

And yet, the number of women who have said they simply could not let themselves get really angry, even if it was in a silent conversation taking place in their mind…
It usually brought up lots of judgments and lots of fear. Fear that if they really let themselves go in this step that something horrific would happen to the other person or they would harm them in some way or that they would be punished ( by whom exactly?…) for expressing this rage.

This gridlock would usually shift while going through the forgiveness steps. Sometimes it happens that there is an unwillingness to forgive ( heaven forbid, how unspiritual!)…  then it would be great to hold the pose and simply say: “I am not willing to forgive you at this moment. I might forgive you in time to come but right now, I am not willing or ready yet.”

Even when the conscious mind knows that forgiving is setting yourself and those involved free, there may be resistance at times, as if forgiving is letting someone off the hook. By then giving yourself permission to not forgive quite yet, it is acknowledging how you are feeling and opens the way for miracles fast.

When you consider yourself spiritual ( really… what does that actually mean???) then this may be a bit of a hurdle to get over.

While I was still flying, I had a friend whom I loved very dearly. We had known each other for many years, traveled together and always had a lot of fun together. Then he rejected me for ‘being too spiritual’. It broke my heart.
A few months later I was in San Francisco and as I was going to the elevator with one of my girlfriends, he walked past as he happened to be there,too.

My body felt as if it had just been whacked by a sledgehammer.

I thought I had released whatever he triggered in me but obviously not yet. So when I returned to my room later that day, I did a TAT session and when I got to the forgiveness part, much to the shock and horror or my spiritual ego, I was unwilling to forgive him. I let myself tell him in no uncertain terms how I felt about him and what had happened and that I wanted him to suffer as I had suffered before I would forgive him. And I gave myself permission to hold off on forgiving him right now and said I probably would one of these days as it would feel better for me but not yet.

I felt things shift and I experienced a huge relief at having given him a piece of my mind… I also wondered when this would be completely transformed.
The next morning I was in the steamroom and thought I’d do another TAT session and… when it was time for the forgiveness step, I was willing to let it go and the charge was gone!

If you’re a woman, or you know a woman, who finds it hard to express anger…

then I’d suggest you give yourself the gift of a TAT session to unleash this inner volcano which may just be waiting to explode.Rather than waiting for others or circumstances to trigger an explosion of rage, why not hand it over to the cosmic laundry service to be transformed…

so this raw lifeforce power can support you in expressing your authentic Self in creative ways?

There are many ways to do this, I am just sharing one of them;) And the beauty is that when you shift this energetically, there’s no need to play it out in your physical life! ( although part of you might want to… hence a great one to offer up for release). Releasing this trapped energy from your body, field and life may just surprise you… It may have been suppressed for so long that you didn’t even know it was there… and when that energy is released…wow…

May your Joy Sprinkle Trail fill you with delight every step of the way…

to be continued…

Many joyful blessings,

Tina
www.innerdelight.com

Copyright © 2012 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.

What If You Had Nothing To Worry About?

13. July 2012 · 4 comments · Categories: clearing fear · Tags: , , ,

What do you tend to worry about? A little bit or a lot…

What if you were to place all those worries into the cosmic laundry service?…
What if all the energy invested in worrying were freed up to support you in living your Soul-aligned life?…
What if this were possible right now? Would you do it?

Can you imagine what your life would be like? How you would feel?

Really, a life without worries… how would you spend your days?

No more wasting time on wondering how your bills would get paid…whether your partner really loves you or if you’ll ever have a partner who will… if you made the ‘right’ choices in your life… playing out all the worst case scenarios in your mind…

And no more worrying about there not being anything to worry about!

Can you even begin to imagine this?

Waking up every morning and asking yourself:
~ What would be fun to do and be today?
~ How can I express myself creatively and joyfully?
~ How can I contribute to others today?
~ What can I contribute to our beautiful earth today?

It seems there is a worry epidemic sweeping the planet and it has become so ‘normal’ that many people take this as ‘just the way it is’ and don’t even consider the possibility of this simply not being true. Getting worried when things are going smoothly and it seems there is nothing to worry about…

What if you made a choice right here and now to hand over all your worries and everything that has ever caused you to worry to the Divine, Source, Spirit?… Along with all the voices that argue against that choice;) Including the ones that say you would never get anything done, it is irresponsible, impossible and naive…

Just imagine…

Many joyful blessings,

Tina
www.innerdelight.com

Copyright © 2012 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.

When The Shift Hits The Fan

22. June 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: clearing fear · Tags: , , , ,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the shift hits the fan…

you just have to laugh;) Yet what to do when this does not come naturally?…

I was having a great conversation with a dear friend yesterday and the topic came up of how people are managing the shifts and changes, and the speed with which it is all occurring, when they might not have any awareness of what is happening from an energy perspective.

Turns out she had just had this conversation with her husband and he mentioned that he had read an article about the costs of pharmaceuticals for health insurance companies. Apparently the most prescribed drugs in the Netherlands are… anti-depressants. In a country with a population of just over 16 million, the statistics were showing 1 million people use anti-depressants.

I was flabbergasted! And yet, on the other hand, not really surprised.
In a world where outer appearance has been running the show, isn’t it tragic that in order to keep up appearances, it has become ‘normal’ to pop some pills to be happy?

The Great Depression of last century is nothing compared to the depression millions are experiencing in the world today.

No wonder… if you are following someone else’s dreams for, or expectations of you, you will eventually burn out and crash…you can’t thrive while you’re beating yourself up with harsh critical (inner) commentaries, comparing yourself to others, expecting yourself to be someone you are not…

The shift has hit the fan… and what if this is good news?

What if this is a wake up call, to bring you home to your Self?

That Divine spark within you that is here to shine like a star… just waiting for you to allow your light to shine, to be seen… to honor the call of your heart… to trust that you are held and supported always… in ALL ways… even when it may not seem that way..

There is a video which always makes me laugh so much and if you ever feel less than joyful, this ought to snap you out of it in a jiffy;)

Enjoy… and I’d love to hear what this evokes from within you…

YouTube Preview Image

Wishing you a joyful weekend and many joy sprinkles,

Tina
www.innerdelight.com

Copyright © 2012 Tina van Leuven. All Rights Reserved.

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